LAST PLACE

Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.

The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?”

I replied: “You really want to know?”

Then I dropped out of the race.

SIMPLE QUESTIONS... BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ANSWERS?

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

• 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

• Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

• Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October revolution?

• November

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

• Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

• Dogs

7) What was King George VI’s first name?

• Albert

8) What color is a purple finch?

• Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

• New Zealand

ORGANIC VEGETABLES

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.

So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

“The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”